(artwork by Jane Ward, Persephone's Womb)
Day 10 Someone you need to let go or wish you didn't know.
As I have mentioned, over the last year and a half or so I have been doing the releasing thing - letting go of the need to control all aspects of my life, letting go of the pursuit of perfection, attempting to let go of fear and allow my vulnerability to show, letting go of folks who don't fit in with where I am going. Truth be told, I'm a mush inside, a softie for a sob story, fighting for the underdog, - you get the idea. And I kind of like not having to be the strong one all the time anymore, being able to talk about my fears, anxiety, my mushiness, which I have come to embrace.
When you open yourself up like that, some folks embrace you because they love you and that's that - that's been my experience 98% of the time. Now, there's that other 2% who throw your vulnerability in your face. I have known someone like that. A volatile and angry person that I know has been damaged by abuse and naturally, I felt great sympathy for this person. But, you know, sometimes there's so much anger and negativity that nothing you do will make it better, nothing you do CAN make it better. It's just not your job, it's theirs; not your business. That energy just takes you down with them.
Truly, as much as I consider negative things lessons learned, I certainly could have lived without some of them. This is a person I wish I had never met. It's too hurtful to watch someone in that kind of pain all the time and know it will not get better mostly because that person doesn't want to, will not accept their warts and that's just the name of that tune.
I don't run, I just walk on past, walk away and try not to take a wrong turn off the yellow brick road. OK, some of those side trips are pretty darn interesting.
This weekend I'll post some photos of a few stitching finishes, the best apple butter I have ever made and I'll leave behind the Thirty Days of Truth for a couple of days. At the moment, I'm looking at a vase of twenty five roses my husband brought home to me today and remembering him on the phone at around five while I was visiting Macy's getting a head start on my holiday shopping. He told me to just take my time and enjoy myself. Left over really yummy chicken casserole was in the fridge, no stress, he could take care of himself. What a guy!!!