(artwork by Jane Ward, Persephone's Womb)
As I have mentioned, over the last year and a half or so I have been doing the releasing thing - letting go of the need to control all aspects of my life, letting go of the pursuit of perfection, attempting to let go of fear and allow my vulnerability to show, letting go of folks who don't fit in with where I am going. Truth be told, I'm a mush inside, a softie for a sob story, fighting for the underdog, - you get the idea. And I kind of like not having to be the strong one all the time anymore, being able to talk about my fears, anxiety, my mushiness, which I have come to embrace.
When you open yourself up like that, some folks embrace you because they love you and that's that - that's been my experience 98% of the time. Now, there's that other 2% who throw your vulnerability in your face. I have known someone like that. A volatile and angry person that I know has been damaged by abuse and naturally, I felt great sympathy for this person. But, you know, sometimes there's so much anger and negativity that nothing you do will make it better, nothing you do CAN make it better. It's just not your job, it's theirs; not your business. That energy just takes you down with them.
Truly, as much as I consider negative things lessons learned, I certainly could have lived without some of them. This is a person I wish I had never met. It's too hurtful to watch someone in that kind of pain all the time and know it will not get better mostly because that person doesn't want to, will not accept their warts and that's just the name of that tune.
I don't run, I just walk on past, walk away and try not to take a wrong turn off the yellow brick road. OK, some of those side trips are pretty darn interesting.
Blessings nine!
I love your attitude about just walking on by. I too have left angry, hurting, I can't make it better for you folks behind. It was for my own good. And finding good when you have Patsy (me) written on my forehead sometimes is difficult. Good for you strong from conviction, mushie on the inside...and it sounds like you have a gem of a husband. The Olde Bagg
ReplyDeleteMy guy's is a gem, love him madly, still, after all this time.
ReplyDeleteA friend and I were discussing the "I must fix everything for everyone syndrome" on Hallows. It's a struggle to walk away from that, to accept that one is not capable of doing that, it's just not possible is extremely freeing, a great weight lifts and one can breathe again.
Thank you for introducing to this 30 Days of Truth - it's really doing me a lot of good. XOXOXO
I think it can be very difficult to get those people out of your life sometimes. Or even just take a break from them. My husband and I both have the problem that we can be very understanding - so much so that often we get taken advantage of by an acquaintance of ours. We're working on distancing ourselves from him, but it's been tough. Know you're not the only one. :)
ReplyDeleteI have your blog bookmarked and really like it. I read it whenever I get a chance. Today I was totally and pleasantly surprised to find my art on here. Thanks for choosing it to illustrate your post and for giving me proper credit. Blessings, Janee
ReplyDeleteJanee, I love your work and want others to see it, so beautiful! Thanks for reading!
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