8. Some who made your life hell or treated you badly.
Well, as a blog buddy said before me, I don't believe in hell. And really, I never allow anyone to make my life hell. I'm very good at walking away and not holding on to things. Someone who's treated me badly - yes, of course. Someone who, after years of taking it, I let go of. The relationship was always a struggle. And I can say that we had many, many good times too, but there were always those jabs - in the nicest possible way, to assist me, because this person knew better.
This person will say I was rude the last time she saw me and I was, in her home, due to anger over yet another idiot incident. Not something I'm proud of, that old reactivity. We seemed to move past it, but those jabs again. And then the final jab over my not liking a certain singer. I remember thinking, who the hell are you? Once again, in this person's opinion, my feelings were not what they should be. I decided I no longer need a person who does this in my life. I hung up the phone and that was the end.
This final incident came about at a time of shift for me. About a year or so before I began a process of re-evaluation, letting go of what is no longer useful to me and figuring out what I really need; choosing to accept myself, warts and all, love myself. And... I have made some good progress. What I knew with complete clarity, at that moment, was I didn't need a friend who didn't treat me well, who didn't accept that my feelings and opinions were valid even if she didn't agree. She didn't have to agree, I never expect anyone to always agree, just allow me my say. It wasn't worth the struggle anymore. It was a very freeing moment to allow myself to say "no more of this!"
Painful? Yes, but it is what it is. Lesson learned, moving on, wiser. No more having someone around who, instead of giving support, chose to play devil's advocate all the time. Trust issues? Oh yeah, but I'll get by, I always do. As some wise person once told me, it's a process. I'm processing, I'm processing!
Blessings nine!
Good for you. It takes a strong person to say no to the irregular people in their life. Irregular like seconds on a bargain basement table. We all have them, the ones that just can't help being negative, snipey or rude just because they can. There are so many "nice" first quality people to allow into our space.
ReplyDeleteI love your esthetic on life. Good on you girl. The Olde Bagg
Thanks Linda. This was a tough one to share. I even contemplated deleting it. But... I've had good and helpful feedback. But most important, reading others' posts, I know I am not alone in my imperfection or in my quest to be a wiser woman. In fact, I have found some very wise woman with this 30 Day Challenge. XO
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